my vag is so smooth its legendary
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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