im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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