Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
