We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
