The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize