Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
