North Korea, Best Korea!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
