brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize