dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
