Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Sext me about skeletons
So vagazzling was a success
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
