hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
