Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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