Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
