i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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