I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
