suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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