Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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