You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
