i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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