Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
