she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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