she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just want to make out with him forever
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
