it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
