he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
