i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
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all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
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I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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