Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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