Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
