let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
