Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize