the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
