The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize