apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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