I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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