My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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