is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Duck Duck Cougar?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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