If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
