I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
