the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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