i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize