i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
