to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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