Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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