R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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