He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
