Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
