Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
