so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
