So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
