brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
