Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
actually, I'm a sock model
oh god the rape fog is back!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
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