dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
