What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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