Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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