My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
