there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Sorry about my life...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
