But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize