I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
