nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
