i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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