As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you would pick up someone in the library
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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