So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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